Memphis Divorce Law Blog
The Tennessee Family Law Blog of Memphis Lawyer

David M. Sandy
www.mymemphislawyer.com

What's Wrong With The Child Support System

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This entry was posted on 3/28/2007 10:12 PM and is filed under Child Support,Morality,Philosophy.

What’s wrong with the Child Support System

Recently I expressed distress to other attorneys for what I feel is unreasonably high child support payments mandated by current guidelines. Coming from an economics background I recognize that the cost allocations are incorrect in that they seem to come from figures based on per-capita household costs, inaccurate market prices, or choices that at income levels calculated for would simply not be made.

This was inevitably met with a “try to raise a child for under $1000 a month” response, which made me realize where the problem lies. Child support policy is being made by aloof members of the upper class who have no idea what is like to budget and also cannot differentiate between fixed and variable costs.

For example for true dual parenting to occur, which is the ideal, both parents would need to maintain housing for both children. There should only be a marginal increase for time spent in terms of utilities. Similarly, clothing should be calculated at a basic level. Australia has an excellent idea to allow the non-custodial parent credit for items bought directly for the child. What too often happens is that the guidelines appear calculated to assume all durable or semi-durable items are bought exclusively by the custodial parent. This leads to a diminishing parent child relationship as children question why the non-custodial parent doesn’t buy them as many non-necessities or perceived to a child as luxury items.

This also leads to custody battles being waged over “the child support money”. This effects both custodial and non-custodial parents and leads to strife and turmoil. Six figure lawyers can’t understand this having conditioned themselves to believe designer clothing, cars, tutoring, electronics, are all normal items to be bought for children and thus perceiving without performing a calculation the child support as barely adequate.

The enforcement mechanism is also messy. Parents who fall behind often are not allowed to pay small amounts owed to the government first, even with the custodial parent’s request. A particular problem is license suspension, while an effective tool there has been no provision made for those whose jobs require driving.

By all means if someone won't support their children and has the funds available they should go to jail, but the current enforcement mechanism has run amuck. The kicker to all this is that the law on the subject clearly indicates punishment should only occur for a failure to pay in the presence of a clear ability to pay. The controlling Supreme Court case on the subject actually supports that all that is required is the testimony that payment is impossible and then the burden shifts.

However, courts have failed to read the entire case and are now requiring the borrowing of money from family and friends, deeming payments made outside the system gifts which I can find no authority for unless they occured before amounts were due in some circumstances, prove that it is impossible to find work which is irrelevant logically to a “present” inability to pay, and frequently just outright ignoring the law to the point where the process as currently performed has become accepted as the law in an urban legend gone insane.

These cases usually deal with the most down on their luck members of society. Lawyers who defend them can’t establish the law for several hundred dollars and to properly try one of these cases would require five to ten thousand dollars of legal work for appeals.

Evil in truth rather then fiction usually results from sloth, laziness, and arrogance. The child support system as currently setup is a classic example of this.

 

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    • 5/11/2007 10:57 PM single parent wrote:
      As a single parent, I have to COMPLETELY disagree with you. Obviously you have NO children or you would understand child support. I receive no help from the non-custodial parent..only child support. When either one of my children are sick, it is ME that has to take off from work, take care of that child, the other will not. Our children like sports, do you think the other will be involved or attend a game...think again. Once the non-custodial parent has remarried, they want nothing to do with the children they helped create in the other marriage. I should know!! The child support I receive is NO where close to what I spend on my kids. I pay for all clothing, medical/dental/vision, extra activities, school supplies, food (have you ever see adolescents eat? especially when they are 13???). I don't get paid for taking them to the doctor, dentist, eye doctor, counseling (because the other parent is not involved), staying up with them while they are sick, or when they need someone. I do it because they are my children. But we still need to make it as well...
      WHen did the COURTS ever really enforce a divorce decree? My ex is to have the kids ever other weekend, that non-custodial parent has not seen the kids in over 2 years. The non-custodial parent is to call the kids two times a week. It has been over 6 months since the last call.
      I would like to buy them more than 7 outfits and more than 2 sets of pjs and one pair of shoes, have money to let them be in sports, money for us to take a vacation, allow for an allowance, even a cell phone so I know where they are at all times. What you have said makes me sick. I don't think the courts could mandate enough child support. It takes two to make children, not one, and it shouldn't just fall on one parent. I think you need to speak to some custodial parents before you start speaking there buddy. You are WAY off and you even sound like you are for men more than for women. How's your business going? Rethink what you say....
      Reply to this
      1. 5/12/2007 1:21 AM David Sandy wrote:

        Yes, your're right no children. Sometimes you need perspective to understand the situation. People have a natural tendency to feel they deserve more, when was the last time you met someone who thought they were overpaid? You said yourself the court couldn't order enough child support, there are alot of married couples who aren't well enough off for 7 outfits and a pair of shoes.  Especially, in divorces where the emotions are high its hard to objectively evaluate the situation. You sound as though the amounts should be higher to punish your ex-spouse for being a defective parent.

        I do represent custodial parents and you'd be shocked at how often women are encountering the same issues increasingly these days, also at how quickly they change their tunes and wish the court ordered a lower amount when there spouse tries to get the children because of the high payments. I remember a court of appeals case where a women was jailed for apparently not stripping hard enough.

        Business is great though.


        Reply to this
        1. 5/12/2007 3:44 PM single parent wrote:
          Sorry you feel I think the support should be higher to punish my ex. I don't feel that way at all, my alimony took care of that! LOL!! I just do not think you realize how much it cost to raise a child. And you need to take into consideration that my children had a different lifestyle before the divorce, to which it has dramtically changed and they have been the ones that have suffered the most. Things they once did,I can no longer afford and my ex will not offer to cover any of it. Each summer they would go away for a week of camp, now that doesn't happen. When they were smaller, it was only I that paid the day care, do you realize how much it is for just one to be in daycare? Even for the before and after school programs? Then you have summer. My support didn't even begin to cover these items. And I can imagine ANYONE is going to complain about child support payments, being a woman or a man. You just sound like you feel men are mistreated. Now there are some good men out there, but any parent that does not involve theirself with their children, are wrong and I do think they should have to pay a higher support. Why should one parent be given the task of raising the children alone? I don't have the ability to better my income, unless I get married. My ex is remarried and has two incomes, I don't. I don't feel sorry for him at all and think he has gotton off easily.
          It sounds like you wouldn' represent a woman very well considering the above views. It shouldn't be based on if you are a man or woman, but who actually spends times with the kids, the lifesytle the kids were accustom to, and that they are provided every chance possible to good education, a safe place to live, clothing, medical/dental/vision care and a caring environment. That is what the courts should base things on.
          I just wanted to bring to your attention you sound harsh against the custodial parent and based on your above statements, against women. The courts should take into consideration if the non-custodial parent even follows the divorce decree, which many don't. If they aren't following it and seeing their kids, then they should be punished, what did their kids every do to them? Why should the kids suffer becuase of a dead beat non custodial parent? I would love to hear from someone that acutall has a great non-custodial parent that helps with the kids. But that is like finding a needle in a hay stack!!
          Reply to this
    • 8/17/2007 12:03 PM fatherOfTwo wrote:
      Hi Single Parent.

      Even as a non-custodial parent of two; I understand your frustration. I love my kids. Not a moment goes by that I don’t think of them. I miss them all the time. I personally cannot grasp the apparent psychology of a father/non-custodial parent that doesn’t want to talk to their little ones everyday just to hear their voices. We got a divorce when the kids were 2 and 4 years of age. Now they are 6 and 8. And what’s been the biggest struggle for me (besides not being able to see them as much as I’d like) is the mother not understanding the value of discipline. And I don’t necessarily mean this in the context of punishment. Just that she doesn’t make the kids do things if they don’t want to, if it’s difficult for them or for her. For example; my son is 6 years old and he has no idea how to tie his own shoes. I’ve done everything I know how to help him with this. For several hours out of the limited precious time I have to spend with them every other weekend I sit down with him to help him learn. And after finally getting past the point where he realizes I’m not going to give in - he begins to pay closer attention. And it seems like he’s picking it up. At about that time; I have to take them back to their mother’s. And when I get them the next time; it’s like I never worked with him with his shoes. My guess is; she doesn’t want to deal with it so; she just ties it for him. I had the same problem with my daughter; but she’s finally got it down (as of a few months ago). I did the whole “certificate of accomplishment” technique which worked for her. She’s really big on getting good grades. Something I believe piano has helped with; which brings me to another issue: It was a struggle to get my ex to let me put the kids through piano lessons (yes; me fully paying for it along with child support that I’ve never missed and have actually always overpaid). She told me she didn’t want the kids to “think they’re smarter than anybody else”…yes…I’m not kidding…she actually said that. And that; she didn’t want to deal with taking them to the lessons and making them practice through the week. I finally got her to agree if I came across town the one time a week to take them to their lessons. Mind you; the place was only a couple miles from her apartment and I had to drive 30 minutes to get the kids. After a few months; it seemed to be working out. I even bought a 70+ key keyboard so the kids could practice through the week. I even got headphones if it was going to be a noise issue. But, once my son started to struggle with it or lose interest; my ex didn’t make them practice (not even my daughter who loves the piano; and likes to create her own music). Sometimes; the only practice they got was just the once a week lessons. This is where the concept of discipline comes in...
      Reply to this
    • 8/17/2007 12:05 PM fatherOfTwo wrote:
      If my kids are never enforced to do things that are difficult but good for them; they won’t (only the path of least resistance). And it’ll be too late when they finally know why it’s important (if you haven’t seen it; rent the movie ‘Idiocracy’ with Luke Wilson; not about this situation per se; but that of a society that get’s dumber and dumber generation after generation due to enabling factors). Another issue; my daughter is 23+ pounds over weight. This is a problem because it could lead to major health problems for her in the future. I’ve tried talking to the ex about it; and she’ll either tell me she’s taking care of it; or just ignore me. She’s been “taking care of it” for over a year now. And my daughter went from 19 pounds over her ideal BMI ratio to about 23. I try taking the kids for walks as much as I can during the short time I have ‘em; but that hardly makes a dent. I’ve brought this to my ex’s attention. And all she has to say is: “so you think I’m not a good mother?” What the heck am I suppose to say? What am I suppose to do about that? She (my ex) lets them eat whenever they want and have as much food as they want. This along with other indications shows she’s not as concerned with the well being of the kids as I am. I know she loves them; but she confuses their wants with their needs. And if I want to’fight’ and ‘try’ to get custody; but that would only result in the waste of hard earned money (which I don’t have) and the resentment of two kids that have never asked for any of this.

      I don’t know… I guess this doesn’t have much to do with your situation. And it’s certainly not as relevant as I intended; but I guess it’s good for thoughts from a father in this sort of situation were expressed. I love my kids; more than anything. And I can only imagine there are other fathers in the same position that feel the same. So; please be careful not to generalize too hastily.

      I wish you and your family best.

      Take care.
      Reply to this
    • 11/12/2007 5:30 PM Jessica wrote:
      As a custodial mother to a nine year old, and the wife of a non-custodial father, I believe I have seen both sides. First of all, I definately believe the system has been biased towards custodial parents for far too long. Child support IS excessive. Too many custodial parents have forgotten that it is a BLESSING to be the parent who gets to wake their children up in the morning each day, to make the day-to-day decisions. It is sad that utilities are calculated into the reason for child support to be so high. Regardless of whether you have custody, utilities must be paid. Rent must be paid. GEEZ! If it's such a burden to take care of your children (financially or otherwise), then give the ncp a shot at the day-to-day f/t parenting. It's ridiculous. I recieve $100 per month to support my daughter from my ex. This is the perfect amount. I've got enough for her to have ONE extra-curricular activity covered for the month... anything more than ONE and you risk overscheduling. It helps pay the school cafeteria account, and little incidentals, like posterboard for a school project. When she visits her Dad, he feeds her and entertains her. Sometimes he even indulges her on a shopping trip. The overall result is that my ex and daughter are able to ENJOY their time together. He doesn't resent me for stripping him of his hard-earned money, and feels more apt to give generously of his own will... not of the government's. He also doesn't resent me, because MONEY isn't the issue. It can't be. One other thing... each time I recieve that check in the mail, I show it to my daughter and remind her how much her father loves her and how he's helped out. These kids deserve to have their parents cooperate. Kids shouldn't be made to feel that they are a financial burden because they exist. Bickering over not recieving enough child support makes them feel like a burden rather than a treasure. Fussing because the child support is burdensome to the ncp also makes the child feel burdensome. When both parents are bi*ching, where is that child's haven to feel valuable? It sure isn't with Mommy and Daddy. C'mon folks...get off your lazy a*ses and enjoy your children.
      Reply to this
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